09/05/20
The Geek (1971) - Unknown
"In the wilds of the Himalayan mountains, there are tales of a mammoth being known as the Abominable Snowman. In the similarly virgin territories of the North American continent, there exits its counterpart... Sasquash. otherwise known as THE GEEK."
Yup. this is exactly what the world’s been waiting for: a hardcore saga about Sasquash sex! Yes. Sasquash. Supposedly "filmed on location in Oregon. Washington and Alberta. Canada" (but looking like it was shot in a single afternoon behind someone’s farm), six sex-crazed campers set out to find the hairy one.
Our first clue that this isn’t exactly a National Geographic special is when Valerie looks at John’s crotch and makes the first scientific discovery: "Oh. it’s so hard! I just wanna touch it." John promptly pokes her in a field while she’s still wearing her shiny black go-go boots.
Then the team leader invites another of the gals into his tent for some "Italian sausage." (He really says that.) After a sizzlin’ screwing, she asks. "Was I a good piece of ass?" "Best piece I ever had. Of course, you’re the only one." he replies. "You mean to tell me you’re a virgin?!" "The closest I ever came was when my sister let me feel her breasts." Ooookaaaay...
Fortunately. Sasquash finally shows up. waves his arms, and makes with a few half-hearted growls. (The poor bastard looks drunk.) Nevertheless, what do you think our dimwit campers do when they’re face to face with this legendary creature? That’s right... They send him one of their women: "Walk slowly and don’t scare him. okay?"
The chosen gal coyly approaches, holds a hand out for the creature to shake, and is immediately done doggie-style: "Oh that beast! He stuck that ugly thing into me!" The others are unnerved: "There he is. kids! Scram!"
Of course, the real geek on display here is the sorry asshole in the fright wig and Sasquash suit — a hilariously shaggy fur coat and corduroy pants ripped at the crotch with what looks like his tiny tadger dangling in the wind — who appears to be both tired and embarrassed and whose frantic humping of a second girl ends when he simply falls over on his side. Yes. boys and girls, that’s entertainment!
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This one follows a group of campers (three men – one of whom is Ric Lutze – and three women – one of whom is Lynn Holmes) that heads off into the woods – what woods? Who knows. The opening credits tell us this was ‘filmed on location in Oregon, Washington and Alberta, Canada.’ We then learn that there is the legend of a mammoth being, a grotesque being, lurking about these woods – this thing is known as The Geek. A narrator then tells us we’re about to learn about the sasquatch – part man, but mostly beast! Is the sasquatch a mutated version of ancient man? Are we really the masters of the Earth like we think we are? So many questions!
We spend the first eight minutes walking through the woods and then a clearing full of some stock footage deer before the uncredited director, who seems to really like his zoom lens, shows us the excitement of building a camp site! After that, one pair of hikers wanders off and has sex in the grass. The girl has a lot of pimples but the leather go-go boots are a nice touch (and practical for hiking). After that the leader of their group warns the rest that the area is uncharted before taking Holmes back to his tent for a drink that inevitably leads to sex. After that he tells her how his fifteen year old sister ran off and got married, which inspires her to take good care of him.
The next day they head back out into the wilderness unaware that they are being stalked by that which they hope to discover – The Geek! He’s played by a guy in a suit that looks like it was made out of carpet. His dong is hanging out of the crotch of this suit and he grunts and growls and then decides he wants to get it on with one of the girls. He rapes her while one of the guys watches and after he finishes the beast just sort of wanders away. The rest of the group is running around with a film camera trying to get some footage of The Geek. When the monster shows up and one of the girls falls down, he bones her too. Once he’s done, the guys fight him. It’s not a good fight though, he just sort of shoves them around a bit. It’s mostly over after that, everyone just sort of walks away.
https://nitroflare.com/view/F76D0792DF8063A/The_Geek_(1971).mkv
Language(s):English
Subtitles:None
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